Love Your Neighbor As Yourself?

Love My Neighbor as Myself

There have been countless conversations in the recent months where I could have sworn that my interlocutor made the audacious statement, “You have heard that it was said, 'Love our neighbor as ourselves,' but how can we love our neighbor if we do not even love ourselves?” Their logic goes something like this: “I must first learn to love myself that I may know how to love my neighbor.” This seemingly innocuous comment is actually a deadly poison that is infecting the churches. At the heart of the statement is the the exaltation of man over God. Not only is this logic a total reversal of the commandment itself but it is built upon a massive assumption: that my deepest problem is my lack of love for myself! If only I loved myself rightly, then I would know how to love others. Then I could receive God's love.

This thinking is rampant among believers. And those who hold it, guard it tightly. To oppose it, is seen as an affront against the person, as though we were being unloving. Therefore one must gently expose the serious blind-spot and destructive end of such a doctrine.

Blind-spot: Too late, you already love yourself

The person assumes that they don't love themselves, or at least not as much as they think they should. How does one unmask this lie? I could see the dialogue unfold like this:

Q: If I feed a person who is hungry, would you call that love?

I: Yes

Q: If I clothed a person who is naked, would you call that love?

I: Yes

Q: And if I protected someone from danger would you call that love as well?

I: Of course

Q: I'm confused. You told me you needed to learn to love yourself. And yet, do you not feed yourself, clothe yourself, and protect yourself. By your own admission you do love yourself.

I: But that's not what I mean.

Q: Now we're getting somewhere. What do you mean by love?

The reality is that we already know how to love ourselves. This is great news! We don't have to waste our time trying to learn something we already know how to do!

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it … (Eph 5:29)

The Destructive End: We Become what we Worship.

But this is also the bad news! We have turned this God built self-preservation into a man altered self-exaltation. You see, what we are really saying is not that we need to learn to love ourselves, but that we want to worship ourselves or rather, be worshiped by others. We want the attention and praise of man. And when we do not get it, we become depressed and develop a “low self-esteem.” In other words, our depression is a result of us not receiving what we think we deserve – the adoration of others. We will not say it in these terms, for that would unmask the real evil. No, we simply escape into self-pity, withdraw into ourselves, become offended, or stew in anger. But all of this is rooted in us believing that we deserve better.

Not until we destroy this idol, the worship of the image in the mirror, will we be able to experience true freedom, love, and joy. For we become what we behold. If our worship is focused on that which is finite, it will fade and it will fail. For all things were created as a sign post directing our attention back to the source and culmination of our joy, namely God. Therefore, if our worship is focused upon that which is infinite, it will be immeasurable and it will be eternal.

Do people go to the Grand Canyon to increase their self-esteem? Probably not. This is, at least, a hint that the deepest joys in life come not from savoring the self, but from seeing splendor. And in the end even the Grand Canyon will not do. We were made to enjoy God.

Are not the most joyful experiences found in the moment when you lose all sense of self as you are caught up in something far greater, far more splendid than you could have ever imagined? But we can only get to this point if the old dies allowing Christ to live in us and us for him.

Those who believe this no longer belong to themselves; they were bought with a price. They offer their bodies as a living sacrifice to God. For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever amen.